In Praise of Myself

by John Maher

We've all been through the ordeal. From the day we applied for our first job to the last time we sought promotion, it's puff, puff, puff! We inflate our credentials to make ourselves look a bit more attractive to those who can advance us.

At the college where I teach, I must refurbish my credentials to prepare for my assessment by the Department Evaluation Committee.

I ask myself: Can't I add another half-inch to my list of publications by including the letter on taxes I wrote to my hometown newspaper, the letter the editor said was "incisive"? Or maybe with large type and wider margins I can pick up a whole inch from the same material by spreading it out.

Would my peers be impressed by the fact that Jr. Osislock, head of the Central Bank of Ireland discussed that country's problems with me for over five minutes? That entry could go under a heading, "Other Professional Activities," and would read something like this: "Participated in a discussion of inflation, unemployment and the balance of payments in Ireland at a meeting in Dublin chaired by Mr. J. Osislock, Chief of the Central Bank." I did spend two weeks in Ireland to see the country, visit my cousins and learn something of the economy. And I did see the country and visit my cousins. Under the heading "Teaching," I could deliver a massive amount of praise from my students, whose opinions of me I could gather on a form especially designed for that purpose. I'd have to resist the temptation to select only the eulogies. But if I distribute a questionnaire right before a holiday or a vacation when only the good, faithful students show up anyway, the odds are I'll get a generous response. I've learned never to ask a class for opinions after a bad lecture or a tough examination.

What about "Service to the College?" Here my committee work is invaluable and costs me little. The Committee on Duplicating Copyrighted Material for Class Use had its only meeting two years ago when I was elected chairman. Then, too, I'm a supernumerary of the Library Committee. I also served on the Graduate Committee for Establishing a Master of Science degree in Industrial Relations. That group foundered on what appeared to be a power struggle over who was in charge. It met twice then died of exhaustion.

Puff, puff!

"Service to the community" is another category of achievement. A while ago I was asked by the radio station in Bristol to be on a talk show about inflation. The host and I sat facing each other and chatted for 15 minutes, but nobody called in to ask a question. Maybe inflation hadn't hit Bristol yet. Then the telephone rang, my heart jumped, and the host said the words of greeting followed by, "You're on the air!" A wonderful old man, who failed to turn his radio down low enough to avoid the confusion of doublespeak, gave a moving description of the horrors of the Great Depression. I waited anxiously for his question. It never came. He thanked the host and hung up.

Did I render a community service? They also served who only sit around, said the radioman.

"Letters of recommendation and Commendation." There's a cornucopia. I wish that articulate scoundrel in whose behalf I wrote a splendid letter last year had not been fired. His rhetoric could melt iron. Then there's that colleague who believes I have influence with the dean. He's good for lauding and magnifying me. I must have a dozen friends I can call upon.

Puff!

"Professional Affiliations." I already belong to the American Economic Association. It's costly, but you get two journals for the money. And I'm a union member of the local chapter of the American Association of University Professors. Dues are more than $200 a year and, under the bargaining contract, I have to pay them to keep my job. So I can't really take credit for my membership. For another $50 I could probably join the Econometric Society or the Eastern (or Western) Economic Association. But would the enhancement of my image be worth the cost?

There's still the "Research" blank to be filled in. For years now I've been pondering the effect of rapid technological change on employment. But I've reached no conclusion. I could submit my stack of index cards, a lengthy bibliography and two lukewarm replies from editors who looked over a chapter outline for my proposed book. The trouble is that technology keeps changing along with employment, and just when I think I've got a handle on the subject, the data go awry. Or I find that Marx and Schumpeter have anticipated my insight by a lifetime. I must change the topic of my research.

That's about it as far as amending my curriculum vitae is concerned. If it does not seem that I have added a cubit to my stature, then so be it. What do I care how things seem? I shall just have to view myself more charitably. As St. Paul said, "Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth."