You've Come to the Right Place

by John Sheirer

Sometimes people ask me if it's frustrating to teach classes that students only take because they are required to—you know, writing, composition, speech, literature. So I tell a story. I can't tell you how many times this story has repeated itself during my years as a teacher.

As I walk down the main hallway at the community college where I teach, I see someone sprinting breathless to the college information desk. It could be a well-dressed man in his mid-forties, a young woman fresh from high school, a big football looking guy with tattoos, or a mother hauling three or four little children. What they all have in common is a desperate intensity on their faces.

Between panting gasps for air, he or she asks, "This is a college, right?"

"Yes," the information desk worker replies.

"Thank God!" the inquisitor continues. "Here's what I need. I woke up this morning with an insatiable craving to study grammar and punctuation, especially commas. Please, I beg of you, oh please tell me that you have a class I can take where we get to work on punctuation and grammar. ..."

Sometimes the request is for instruction in poetry, an immensely popular subject among single working mothers and recently laid-off machinists.

Sometimes it's public speaking. Who doesn't want to stand in front of a room full of strangers who scrutinize every word and movement.

Sometimes essay writing is the object of desire. Everyone welcomes the opportunity to compose meaningful works of rhetoric for the academic discourse community.

I walk up to the person and smile. My combination of professional demeanor and relaxed, friendly nature puts them at ease. My gray-streaked hair and intellectual glasses show me to be a person of great distinction.

"I can help you, my friend," I say in a soft voice. "Come. Let's get a registration card." Like a pied piper who needs no music, I grasp an elbow with a confident but tender grip and lead this new student on the first steps to the class that will change a mind, a heart, and a life forever.

Copyright © John Sheirer 2003